The husband had it special ordered/customized (yes it’s a real bulletproof vest) for Christmas, but it was delayed a bit and it finally arrived and you had better bet your sweet patootie that I will wear the ever-living CRAP out of this thing.
Not just to sci-fi conventions OH HELLS NO. I will bust out this bad-boy for DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS and HOUSEWORK. For that matter ARE ANY OF MY FRIENDS GETTING MARRIED SOON?
Oh my God, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY, SOMEONE CALL ME UP FOR JURY DUTY.