All the pretty things are going to hell

Apparently this is the cover of HELLBENT Today we are approximately one week out from the official street debut of Hellbent – that is, Book #2 in the Cheshire Red Reports. (‘Tis the sequel to Bloodshot, my first foray into urban fantasy.)

September 6 is fast approaching … and here I am with this big fat box of audiobooks and author copies, just begging to be tossed to readers like so many beads from a pirate float at Mardi Gras.

I’ve been giving quite a lot of thought as to how I ought to offer these up and send them out. I mean, my book is called “Hellbent” and my last name is “Priest.” Surely some wacky confessional contest is called for, right?

Well, maybe not. This being the internet and all, I’m not so sure I want to subject myself to the inevitabilities of such an adventurous undertaking; and anyway, apart from offering all you Philistines and perverts the opportunity to unburden yourselves … it doesn’t really do much in the way of Decreasing World Suck.

So a very wise woman I know suggested something cheerier – something brighter, friendlier, and more helpful. Something less likely to make me want to steam-clean my brainmeats. And thus was born a different sort of “how badly do you want a book?” challenge.

Schwag for the HELLBENT giveaway goodie bags Ergo, I give you … Operation: Negotiable Handbasket

And it shall go like this: You will do things to keep yourselves out of hell. Good things, that is. Things that will benefit somebody else, either from the kindness of your heart or for your greedy desire to get a free signed book mailed straight to your doorstep – now with Bonus! schwag such as I picked up from Archee McPhee’s yesterday, for the sake of added drama.*

Here’s what you do if you want to participate:

    1. Pick your favorite charity, and give it some money. It doesn’t have to be a lot of money, but I’d recommend oh, say, ten bucks for starters – if you’re able. Alternately: call up your charity and offer to volunteer some time and/or elbow grease.

    2. Come to THIS WEBPAGE and leave a comment. Include a link to your chosen charity and a little blurb about why it’s great, so that other people can see it and throw a few pence in the pot if they feel moved to do so.

    3. Send an email claiming your comment, including your snail mail address to – – and please specify whether you’d prefer a trade paperback or an audio book. (I have MP3 CDs and regular audio CDs available. Pick one, or mention that you don’t care – and you’ll get whatever I have the most of.)

And that’s it. Follow those easy steps, and I’ll put you into the running for some loot! But before you go nuts with your virtuous badass typing selves, let me first make a couple of notes on this promotion.

  • Winners will be chosen at random, from all the people who know how to follow directions. I’m not sure how many winners there will be, because honestly, I haven’t counted up how many extra copies of everything I have lying around. (Don’t ask me why, but Bantam has been sending these things piecemeal.)

  • I will be forced to trust that everyone who posts a charitable link has actually donated money or arranged volunteer time for that charity. Will some of you be filthy liars about it? Maybe. Is that terrible bad form? Yes, but I can’t really judge you. After all, I once cheated on a Christian Ethics exam.** But still, I hope you’ll take this as an opportunity to do something nice – and not as an opportunity to bullshit your way into some free stuff.

So … yeah. There you go. Have at! And kindly pass around a link to this entry, if you’re so inclined.

And if (for some reason) you’d rather investigate purchasing options instead of taking your chances with the charitable internet masses, I can hook you up there, too:

* No, not ALL of that schwag to one winner. I will divvy it up as I see fit.
** I spent most of my education in parochial school … which explains a lot, I suppose.

64 thoughts on “All the pretty things are going to hell

  1. Bill

    I’m going to second the nomination of Child’s Play (see above in thread for link) as a charity to consider.

    Why donate to Child’s Play?

    Few things are more effective in taking a kid’s mind off a mass of IV tubes and sensor leads than having a controller in their hands.

    Sick kids are SURPRISINGLY effective trashtalkers when they’re involved in a fierce racing game… or shooter….

    I donated to Child’s Play a few times before finding myself on the receiving end of trashtalk from my kid in a hospital bed…. he is a VICIOUS competitor in Need for Speed.

  2. What a great way to find links to awesome non-profits that I might never have known about!

    I’ve donated $30 to Can’t Stop the Serenity charity event that’s happening in Seattle in September. I’ll also be volunteering that day to help the event to run smoothly.

    Can’t Stop the Serenity is a world-wide grassroots organization of local geeks who just like doing good works and giving back to the both their local communities as well as global causes.

    The donations this year will go to Equality Now, NorthWest Harvest, Museum of History and Industry (MOHAI) and SB Charities.
    “If you can’t do something smart, do something that’s right.”

  3. I always give at least $20 a month, regardless of my personal finances, to Child’s Play (

    This charity focuses on providing toys, games, and other fun trinkets to children’s hospitals. They show that gamers can fundamentally be good people, and provide an important, often overlooked role.

    Entertainment is crucial to relieving stress or distracting from pain and discomfort. What provides more pain, stress, and discomfort than cancer or any of the other diseases that might leave a kid in a hospital for a long stretch?

    Extra bonus – Child’s Play benefits hospitals all over the US, including one in my local community.

  4. I gave $50 to United Hope for Animals. I would also include the $250 I gave them over the weekend, but I received a little doggie in exchange for that =)

    UHA works to find homes for animals in high-kill shelters in Southern California and Mexico. Animals are given medical care, all shots, sterilization, microchipping, and flea control. They are fostered in appropriate homes before being made available for adoption. In addition, if an adoption doesn’t work out, or the adoptive family can’t keep the animal for any reason, no matter how long after the adoption, UHA will take it back and place it back in a foster home environment.

    UHA is also an advocate for humane treatment of shelter animals. By working with animal control authorities in Baja California, UHA has helped to end the practice of destroying shelter animals through electrocution.

    It’s a very worthy organization doing incredible work in two countries.

  5. Lois Buhalis

    I just gave to our local Architectural Heritage Center They do an amazing job preserving and recording the architectural history of Portland, and have auctions, tours of historical sites and neighborhoods. They also maintain a huge collection of fascinating architectural artifacts (one of the largest collections in the nation), have a large research library and host monthly art exhibits. They are an absolutely fascinating place to visit for all kinds of period research. My snail mail address, in case I win (!!!) is Nine-Four-Two-Five N. Richmond Ave., Portland, OR Nine-Seven-Two-Zero-Three. I’d be delighted with anything, but would prefer an audio book.

  6. Terry Tyson

    There are more than a few charities that mean a great deal to me. Here are just three that I’ve recently donated blood, sweat and money.

    The American Red Cross has been around for a long time. They’ve do consistently good work on a local and national scale. In addition to offering low to no-cost classes on first aid, CPR and other vital “save-your-skin-or-someone-elses” skills, they respond to all manner of emergencies and disasters rendering aid when it is most needed.

    For me, the ARC is my go-to blood donation site. Apparently, this old man’s O+ Rh- blood is good for newborns so I am called on a regular basis to donate. Last week I gave another pint which resulted in me receiving my 3 Gallon pin. NOTE: I hate donating blood, but the cookies and the lives saved is worth the momentary discomfort. If you can’t give cash, how about a pint of your blood?

    Yesterday, my wife and I sent another check to Best Friends Animal Society in Moab, UT. These folks are the most caring, open and dedicated animal activists I’ve ever met. Their non-political, non-dogmatic (no pun intended) agenda is simple; rescue and care for animals (especially pets) wherever there is need.

    These are the good people who rescued and rehabilitated the Vick pitbulls. These are the brave folks who rescued and cared for the dogs and cats stranded during Katrina.

    They operate a frugal yet effective organization. No glitz, no glamour just a philosophy of “No Homeless Pets”.

    The American Hiking Society is another one of those nonprofit groups with a simple mission and a no-nonsense approach to their work. The AHS promotes the joy of hiking as a recreational pursuit for all ages and income levels. Walking under an open sky on a dirt path with friends, family or even alone is not only good exercise for the body but is wonderful therapy for the spirit as well. There is the understanding that when you commune with nature, we reconnect with ourselves.

    AHS also works with municipalities, states and the national government to create, protect and maintain open spaces for trails and appreciation for future generations.

    They also promote volunteerism among those who use and enjoy these special places. This June, I participated in AHS’s “National Trails Day” helping to clean up some local trails and wilderness parks. This is my fourth year participating in this important event.

    Oh yeah, when you join AHS, you receive Backpacker magazine at no extra cost. Not a bad deal, at all! Donate and then “Take A Hike!”

    My mailing address is: T. Tyson – 1036 Las Posas, San Clemente, CA 92673

    Keep up the good work, Ms. Priest.

  7. Virginia Samuelson

    My charity of choice is .Heifer International is one of my favorite organizations. It has become my families go to gift. ¬†It’s goals fit the most right wing to the most left wing of us. ¬†Heifer makes wonderful contributions to sustainable development. Heifer donates a wide variety of animals (and trees) to families around the world. Recipients use the animals to improve their standard of living. For example, water buffalo can help a family in Nepal plow their land to grow more food. Goats can provide meat and milk for a Romanian family, improving their diet. A family in Ecuador can eat and sell eggs and meat from Heifer ducks, and generate money for school fees. One requirement is that recipients ‘pass the gift” by donating the the offspring of gift animals to others in need, making them equal partners with Heifer in the fight to end world hunger.


  8. Wow. There are so many good people working with great organizations. I’m so impressed!

    I am a big fan of the Oregon Food Bank ( and I donate to ’em every year. In honor of Hellbent and the promise of an opening chapter’s worth of penis jokes, I’ve just written a bonus check for ten bucks.

    You can probably figure out from the name that the Oregon Food Bank helps distribute food across Oregon to families and communities in need. They’re a no-bullshit non-profit and I’m proud to help them in their mission. If you live in Portland, you can volunteer in their warehouse sometime. It’s easy, very well organized, and actually lots of fun.

    Good job everybody!

  9. Debbie

    I’m volunteering at the Susan G Komen race for the cure in Denton TX on 9/24. This will be the first time I’ve ever volunteered, and my first time to ever attend an event like this. As this is also the first time I’ve heard of the author Cherie Priest and tonight I’m going to sit down and read the first book of hers, Bloodshot, well just seems like some major synergy going on in the month of September for me. (Cherie I just learned of you from the DFWCON website and checked you out on Amazon)

    Here’s the website if anyone would like to participate in the event in Denton this year or donate:

  10. April V.

    I have lots of favorite charities and do volunteer work mostly (’cause I’m broke). Most recently I sorted food in a warehouse of this one
    But one of my next things will be to give what I’ve saved in my paypal (I do surveys and such for extra dough) to this one which will be beginning in a couple of months and which is cooler than cool:

  11. Mike S

    I collect and donate used clothing for the Salvation Army

    Especially important for those impacted by natural disasters like hurricanes, eartquakes, etc. Often people are left literally with only the clothes on their backs, so those old concert t-shirts and the jeans that are too “snug”, in the back of your closet, can help somebody in need.

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