September 6 is fast approaching … and here I am with this big fat box of audiobooks and author copies, just begging to be tossed to readers like so many beads from a pirate float at Mardi Gras.
I’ve been giving quite a lot of thought as to how I ought to offer these up and send them out. I mean, my book is called “Hellbent” and my last name is “Priest.” Surely some wacky confessional contest is called for, right?
Well, maybe not. This being the internet and all, I’m not so sure I want to subject myself to the inevitabilities of such an adventurous undertaking; and anyway, apart from offering all you Philistines and perverts the opportunity to unburden yourselves … it doesn’t really do much in the way of Decreasing World Suck.
So a very wise woman I know suggested something cheerier – something brighter, friendlier, and more helpful. Something less likely to make me want to steam-clean my brainmeats. And thus was born a different sort of “how badly do you want a book?” challenge.
And it shall go like this: You will do things to keep yourselves out of hell. Good things, that is. Things that will benefit somebody else, either from the kindness of your heart or for your greedy desire to get a free signed book mailed straight to your doorstep – now with Bonus! schwag such as I picked up from Archee McPhee’s yesterday, for the sake of added drama.*
Here’s what you do if you want to participate:
1. Pick your favorite charity, and give it some money. It doesn’t have to be a lot of money, but I’d recommend oh, say, ten bucks for starters – if you’re able. Alternately: call up your charity and offer to volunteer some time and/or elbow grease.
2. Come to THIS WEBPAGE and leave a comment. Include a link to your chosen charity and a little blurb about why it’s great, so that other people can see it and throw a few pence in the pot if they feel moved to do so.
3. Send an email claiming your comment, including your snail mail address to – email@example.com – and please specify whether you’d prefer a trade paperback or an audio book. (I have MP3 CDs and regular audio CDs available. Pick one, or mention that you don’t care – and you’ll get whatever I have the most of.)
And that’s it. Follow those easy steps, and I’ll put you into the running for some loot! But before you go nuts with your virtuous badass typing selves, let me first make a couple of notes on this promotion.
- Winners will be chosen at random, from all the people who know how to follow directions. I’m not sure how many winners there will be, because honestly, I haven’t counted up how many extra copies of everything I have lying around. (Don’t ask me why, but Bantam has been sending these things piecemeal.)
- I will be forced to trust that everyone who posts a charitable link has actually donated money or arranged volunteer time for that charity. Will some of you be filthy liars about it? Maybe. Is that terrible bad form? Yes, but I can’t really judge you. After all, I once cheated on a Christian Ethics exam.** But still, I hope you’ll take this as an opportunity to do something nice – and not as an opportunity to bullshit your way into some free stuff.
So … yeah. There you go. Have at! And kindly pass around a link to this entry, if you’re so inclined.
And if (for some reason) you’d rather investigate purchasing options instead of taking your chances with the charitable internet masses, I can hook you up there, too:
Search for an independent bookseller near you through IndieBound.
As always, for all my titles – scroll down for directions re: a signed copy from the University Book Store in Seattle
* No, not ALL of that schwag to one winner. I will divvy it up as I see fit.
** I spent most of my education in parochial school … which explains a lot, I suppose.