nothing hurts like your mouth

Posted on | 2 years, 9 months ago, late at night | 3 Comments

I am sick to death of thinking about my teeth, and now I don’t have to for another four months.* I am officially, thoroughly, obnoxiously all caught up with my ten-years-lapsed dental work … and to that I say “Praise Steve, and pass the Doritos.”

Well, actually I’m more inclined to say, “…and pass the pudding.” They shot me up again, and this time it was the right side of my face that felt like a slab of somebody else’s liver. But now that the Novocaine is all worn off and I can resume making kissy faces at the cat, my mouth aches like a mofo. I can still taste blood. My jaw is either sprained from the stress, or just plain pulled. My gums ache all the way back to my ears.

But I’ve been given a clean bill of oral health, at least for now. I have to go back in a few months to make sure my gums aren’t going to burst into flames or anything; but assuming it all checks out, I can move on to a 6-month schedule like normal people.

I’m a little ambivalent about that. On the one hand, it means that I can quit having those nightmares about my teeth turning into wee wads of gum before falling out of my face. On the other hand, I went ten years without bothering to take a trip to the magical reclining chair, and I did just fine thank you very much. Why the hell should I go every six months?

Yes, I know. This is madness. And I’m sure that once my mouth once again feels like a normal mouth, and not like a mouth that’s been participating in a How Many Rocks Can I Fit in Here competition, I’ll have a healthier take on the situation. But for now, I could wait another ten years and be all the happier for it.

Because this sucks. And it will not stop sucking for at least another glass of wine. Or two. I suppose I’ll have to crack open another bottle FOR SCIENCE.


* Yes, I still intend to brush them between now and then. I’m negligent, not a hermit.

Category: misc

Comments

3 Responses to “nothing hurts like your mouth”

  1. Will
    April 18th, 2009 @ 12:18 am

    Yow. You have my well-informed sympathies. Too many years of soda (since quit) and sub-optimal insurance, plus laziness and fear, have left my mouth a disaster area, too. I went in this winter to initiate some new repairs and begin a new era of oral health, was given an order for oral surgery… and then lost my insurance. So I am now hovering between an assignment for oral surgery and the ability to have it done. More than painful, it is exactly the kind of nerve-wracking you say, with the nightmares and the clenching and the waking with the pain from the nightmares and the clenching. Good times.

    Here’s a toast to you being past it.

  2. Bill Teeple
    April 18th, 2009 @ 5:43 pm

    My sympathies to you also. I, too, have had the misfortune of bad dental care over the years and poor upkeep which resulted in many procedures spread out over several years.

    I am the bearer of many crowns now and recently completed a round of braces to keep my teeth aligned and easier to manage as I stretch for my later thirties.

    I will keep positive thoughts for your teeth and their well being.

    You can also thank Wil Wheaton for pushing me to your site with his twitter about the cover of Boneshaker – looks great!

  3. Amber
    April 20th, 2009 @ 7:38 am

    I feel your pain. I neglected to go to the dentist for 6 years. Silly me thought that brushing, flossing, and using listerine was enough to keep them in good shape. When I ended up having horrible toothaches, I finally caved in and went. They had to remove all four wisdom teeth and a molar. My dentist also informed me that I needed a root canal, 3 crowns and 4 minor fillings.

    When he presented me with the estimated cost, I nearly fainted. I’m having all of the work done at a school of dentistry..much cheaper that way. So far I’ve had the root canal, 2 of the small fillings, and the core and pins put in for 2 out of 3 crowns. Once all of this work is done I will never neglect my teeth again. It’s costing me way too much time, money, and pain to go back to ignoring them.

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