Of teeth and terror and drywall dust

Wow. I guess L. Ron Hubbard had it right. Success really is inventing your own religion. Welcome to all you newcomers, and Steve bless the lot of you. Welcome to the non-douchey side. Come on in. Sit a spell. We serve brownies, and we don’t lick ’em first or nothin’. So today was my third […]

May Steve Be With You

It’s probably no surprise that I’ve been getting emails about the First Church of the Intergalactic Fruitbat Steve, given how much joking, joshing, and general tomfoolery has taken place both online and in public on this spiritual subject. So a little bit of context is due. Picture it: The Paranormal Bender Tour, Day One. March […]

Excerpts from Conversations with Electricians

Electrician: These ceilings are pretty tall. What are they, maybe ten feet? Me: Something like that. Electrician: Thus the step-ladder in the kitchen, eh? Me: Natch. Electrician: [:: looks at the foyer ceiling ::] What about the smoke detector? Can you reach it, even with that ladder? What are you, five foot nothing? Me: Five […]