Ordinarily I don’t do this kind of thing (and no one is paying or urging me to do so now), but today I’m going to recommend a product — this steam mop, the Bissell 1867-7 Hard-Floor Cleaner. I ordered the steam mop via Amazon.com after noting that the old-school linoleum in our future apartment’s kitchen/bathroom (a). is supposed to be white with black accents, and (b). will require some tough love to keep bright and shiny … and furthermore (c). the hardwoods in the new place are also much nicer, and will likewise benefit from a little steam-lovin’.

I’ve spent the last 2-1/2 years in an apartment with a floor that looked permanently filthy, and it’s driven me nuts; I refuse to subject myself to the same in our lovely new place — which, not altogether unrelatedly, has considerably more floor space to manage. Ergo, after asking around and doing some research, I purchased the above-linked steam mop in the hue of “Green Tea” (because it was cheaper; perhaps they’re discontinuing the color or something).

It arrived today.

Curious, and with a disgusting floor just lurking right over there … I decided to take this baby for a test drive. I assembled it according to the handy-dandy instructions, pulled everything out of the kitchen, swept it out, and fired up the mop.

Click the following jump to see some [utterly unretouched] before and after shots, as well as product observations and notes.

Please don’t judge. I’ve tried to clean this damn floor a thousand times, and it never looked any better than this, no matter what I did. Ellen and Suezie will back me up on this; we all have the same intractable linoleum.

But after about twenty minutes with the steam mop … glory, glory hallelujah!

So here are my general impressions, from one use:

• Heats up quickly — you plug it in, ten or fifteen seconds later, it gives you the red light that means it’s ready to go. HOWEVER. The first 3-5 minutes you use it, it doesn’t work amazingly well. Once it gets a little warmed up (or once that mop-head pad gets some moisture build-up) it performs much better.

• It does not leave the floor practically dry, as advertised; but it leaves the floor drier than a regular mop would, and a little drier even than oh, say, a Swiffer wet pad. The whole area dried out nicely in about five minutes.

• The mop-head is rounded and easy to maneuver, but it can’t really do sharp edgework. I had to get down with a Clorox wipe or two and clean up the seams a smidge, which wasn’t too bad or surprising.

• The mop itself is fairly light and easy to hold, and the mop-head is very soft for easy gliding — but the trigger must be depressed at all times for the steam to come out, which would no doubt get tiresome if I had been cleaning a larger area. A fixed switch or the option to “set” the steam on would be helpful.

• The mop-head was sort of gross when finished (big surprise), but you pop it off once it cools down, and chuck it into the laundry basket. It runs through the wash like any washcloth.

• But these minor observations/quibbles aside, it really did a very good job. Our floors didn’t look this good when we moved in, for heaven’s sake, so I have high hopes for the job this mop will do in the new joint. I suspect that a tiny, diluted splash or spritz of Mr. Clean would make things sparkle even brighter (though you’re not supposed to put anything in the water you use for the mop, so I’d recommend that you do any splashing or spritzing directly onto the floor).

The product also warns that it’s not designed for highly waxed floors, or unsealed hardwoods — so this isn’t going to be a perfect item for every household. But if you want to zap the hell out of your linoleum or tile, this might well be the tool for you.