I got into a knife fight with a pirate

I got into a knife fight with a pirate That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But should any UNKIND PERSONS attempt to convince you that I ACTUALLY received this 2.4-inch gash above my left eye when Portland hit me in the face with a sidewalk, then you should utterly disregard such tales, for they are spread by UNRELIABLE INDIVIDUALS of INCONSTANT CHARACTER.

Anyway. A trip to an emergency doc followed, and then some surgical glue and stays, and finally we’re back home (we missed our first train due to this little adventure). Will process and post pictures later, and will likewise follow up such photos with a convention report; but for now, I’m just really wiped out, I have a terrible headache, my hands hurt, and I’m mourning the loss of my favorite glasses — which shattered on impact.* With the pirate’s knife, I mean. You know.

More later, folks. For now I need a stiff drink and an hour or two decompressing in front of the TV. Also, I need to go finish washing all the blood out of my new Sisters of Mercy tee shirt, despite the fact that it makes me ALL THE MORE HARDCORE to be thusly stained; because a girl has to have her priorities, that’s why.

* Thank God I hadn’t picked up my new glasses from the eye doc yet. The new specs came in on Friday, but I was already at the train station when I got the call, and I didn’t have time to retrieve them before leaving town.

10 thoughts on “I got into a knife fight with a pirate

  1. I’ve been in several pirate knife-fights, the reasons for which vary. In any case, it’s clearly obvious that you met the business end of a pirate’s blade.

    Rest and sip your favorite liquor.

  2. Oh, my goodness.

    Well, I hope that your recovery is swift. And that the pirate looks much worse.

    When my daughter Fiona got a gash over her eye, the ER doctor told us that after it healed we should be sure that we applied sunscreen to the scar DAILY for a year, to minimize it and prevent discoloration.

  3. Ouch! I hope you kicked the pirate’s butt.

  4. Thom

    You have to be careful in Portland, that place is swarming with pirates. I don’t know if it’s because pirates like giant bookstores and multiple strip clubs, or if the ninja boom in Seattle made them all move south, but it’s a big problem.

    That’s why people like Palahniuk end up moving across the river to Vancouver, WA.

    Pirates. Get a few shots of rum in them and all of a sudden they are knifing people all willy nilly. At least when ninjas get drunk they just sit in a corner and pretend that they’re invisible.

  5. Lindsay

    Wow. if that pirate’s blade had been an inch lower, you’d be sporting an eyepatch. At least you saved Aric from being sold into slavery, right?

  6. The pirate story is way more cool than my similar scar across my left eyebrow from smacking myself in the face with my keys. I am oh so coordinated, that I am.

    Hope it heals up quick. And glad to hear you didn’t smash, err destroy your new glasses of awesome. (Though, I’ve managed to break not even day old glasses, so it can and does happen.)

  7. I don’t even remember what we were fighting about, but I do remember my blatant disregard of your demand: “Not the face, NOT THE FACE!”

    I was coming here to apologize until I realized how cool that’s going to look if it leaves a scar. Now I’m declaring that you owe me royalties for how awesome I’ve made you look.

    Get well soon.

    (In case there was confusion, I’d like anyone reading to know that this comment was made in the whimsical spirit of assuming I’m a pirate, not the whimsical spirit of assuming I’m a Portland sidewalk.)

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