I think one of the most important things I took from the book was the background on how these people are taught about plural marriages. It also deals a little with the Lost Boys from a first hand account.

I suggest reading it with an open mind and not expecting it to solve the conundrum! It would be easy to come away saying she’s just one bitter woman and clearly exaggerating. It would be easy to say all those men are deranged sex-crazed tyrants with delusions of grandeur. It’s just not that simple. But, you already knew that!

I appreciate the way you focused in on how what you grow up with seems like the whole world.

I wish more people could see that vulnerability. You can’t communicate with these people on what you consider a rational basis, because their family/church has told them for years exactly what you will say about them and assured them that your unbelief is proof you are the devil.

“We are special, we are chosen, we are following the truth, and anyone who tells you anything differently is an instrument of Satan trying to deceive you.”

For someone who came from an outside the mainstream religious background herself…those kind of teachings are insidiously scary.

At a fundamental level, they take away a person’s ability to think for themselves.

Have a doubt?

Fight it off! It’s a demonic attack!

Not sure you should hand over your daughter with a blissful smile?

You mean you would risk your daughters eternal soul by not allowing her this chance to marry the man who can take her with him into the next life?

Don’t think for a moment that all this hasn’t been covered from every angle for as far back as these women can remember. They aren’t just evading your questions about their lifestyle out of some sense of shame…they are proud of themselves for having the strength to resist your attempts to destroy them. They used to play games in the backyard about what they would do when they were persecuted just this way.

And it just breaks my heart.

The thing that makes me angry is that distinctive cultures (Adventists to an extent, and splinter compounds much more so) are often maintained by deliberately isolating members from the outside world. They do this by having a highly unusual culture (American Adventists eschew meat, don’t swim on Saturday, frown on jewelry, no vinegar, etc.) or by demonising outsiders. I just don’t believe this is ever healthy; it serves the group to the detriment of the individuals.

Most variants of Christianity also have the unfortunate core message “You are no good.” This tactic is characteristic of abusive spouses, too. Again it serves group cohesion but harms group members. A lot of Christians believe that without their belief in God they would go on rampages of rape or murder or whatever.

When I was in the process of leaving the Adventist church I didn’t think I would be able to find a girlfriend who would understand me and tolerate me without having been ex-Adventist herself. I worked hard to catch up on popular culture. I learned how to eat meat (at least when it’s not recognizable as body parts). Fortunately it’s semi-cool to be vegetarian here in Seattle.

When you change cultures there’s a big hump to get over and you may never find people with whom you truly feel you belong.

I think being friendly and encouraging connectedness is the best way to help people who are in isolated circumstances. It’s hard, though.

Sorry I don’t have much insight to offer.

Though for what it’s worth, if you’d check that bottom footnote you’d see that I don’t think this system of enforced plurals is ultimately any better for men than it is for women.

Why “divine male authority” instead of simply “divine authority”? Why “a flawed man who speaks on behalf of God”? I submit that any person, male or female, seen as holding divinely-granted authority would have the same influence, and it is simply the context of Judeo-Christian religion that gives us examples weighted to the male. The great Queens, Priestesses, and Prophetesses of antiquity were just as authoritative. One didn’t just blow off the Oracle at Delphi with impunity, for example.

I’m not saying that the case in Texas wasn’t the work of men. What I am saying is that cultural indoctrination and the nature of authority are human psychological phenomena that have nothing to do with gender, and I am disturbed by the subtextual assumption that they are the purview of men alone.

You’ve raised a lot of very salient points to consider. This is an article to stew on for a couple hours…